Reflections.....

June 4, 2009

Two Magic Words

When I was younger and something would happen in my life I would ask "Why me?" I just couldn't understand why all these "bad" things were happening to me. What had I done to deserve this? What could I have done better? What did I do wrong? And then the "Maybe ifs" would start. I would chew things over and over in my mind. I had married an alcoholic and no matter what happened I was told it was my fault. My mind was filled with doubts and my self esteem was close to zero.

I saw God as this entity sitting up there, somewhere, watching me and keeping track of things in his great big book (you know the one, The Permanent Record).
I was raised a good little Lutheran and was also exposed to other religious belief systems. Somehow it just didn't fit. I thought if God is Love then why are all these bad things happening in the world. I couldn't comprehend a loving deity that would allow so much pain and suffering, especially to innocents and kind people.

During my divorce proceedings I met a wonderful woman who introduced me to spirituality as opposed to religion and I discovered that spirituality was a personal relationship with the Divine and not dictated by someone else's shouldas, couldas and wouldas. I began the journey of Self discovery and found that the 'little old man in the sky' was a myth and that the Divine resides within me and everyone, and everything else. I discovered that I could talk with my personal Higher Power and that by sitting quietly could hear its still small voice within me.

One of the biggest lessons I learned was that I was the one to be responsible for my own life and by taking that responsibility I could take charge of my life. One of the greatest gifts given to mankind is the freedom of choice. I had discovered the two magic words: "I Choose".

I now start my mornings with prayer and affirmations. I say "I choose to radiate Love, Light and Joy to everyone and everything I meet. I choose my day to unfold with ease and grace." When I encounter a challenge I choose to face it with understanding, ease and grace. I choose to…. And am so grateful that ….. (You didn't think I forgot those other two little magic words did you?)

We all have the opportunity and ability to choose. Some things we cannot change but we still have the ability to choose how we will deal with them. We CAN change our lives!

Love, Light and Joy!
Candace

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May 31, 2009

I recently and unexpectedly lost my job. It was a definite blow to Ego. She first questioned what she had done wrong or what she could have done better. Then she got defensive and began to chew on what she thought was the unjustness of the situation. Anger replaced the doubts and Ego went over and over the supposed negative things that had proceeded this unfair discharge.

All the while there was this still small voice speaking inside my heart saying that all was well and that there was a Divine purpose to everything.

Usually it takes a long time for the loud voice of Ego to quiet enough to hear the still, small voice within. Ego just loves to be in control. When it feels it is losing control it becomes loud and boisterous, bringing up not only the current situation but reminding me of other similar situations. Ego just loves to take self esteem and squish it down and stomp it as low as it is allowed.

I have given Ego power and control most of my life and I am now learning, with no uncertainty, that I am in control and can choose to see the world as either a victim or as the creator of my own life. By choosing to take responsibility for my own life I am creating a life of ease, grace, peace and joy. This is my choice, and daily I affirm it.

By letting go of Ego's control, I have allowed Spirit (Source, God, Buddha, Allah, Universe, Goddess etc.) to enter more fully into my life. I know that something absolutely wonderful is coming into my life right here and now. By turning down the volume of Ego's voice I have created more time and space to listen to the quiet peace around me and to the guidance and love coming from the Still, Small Voice.

May you clearly hear your very own Still, Small Voice.

Love, Light and Joy,
Candace Knowlan